The Wandering Aesthete

Remember something important: No one outside of a situation knows what it’s like to be in it. Remember something more important: That fact does not justify holding on to someone who is toxic to you. 

We’ve all been there- the boy who finally made himself vulnerable, the girlfriend who had one too many coke binges but she’s just SO fun, the Dad that never calls, except when he does. 

Yes these are all situations that I have been through. Yes I am still dealing with them.

Don’t be a hoarder, unless it’s of couture. Holding on to people that are toxic to you creates a toxic environment around you. How can you be healthy if all of your relationships aren’t?

One of the hardest things in life is not sacrificing how you want to treat people while not being a human punching bag. Chances are though, you are put in these situations BECAUSE you are a good person. These toxic people know that you are not the type of person to turn your back on someone who needs them. That you are the type of person to forgive and forgive again because thats who you are. These people suck. 

Four years out of high school, my roommate and I have given up on more friendships than I can count- but never, NEVER, without a fight. We did not do this rashly, nor lightly. We did this as one can jump out a window to save themselves from the flames- or however that quote goes. 

The point of the matter is: You aren’t supposed to be friends with everyone forever. If you were, history wouldn’t mean a thing. So to, of course most of your relationships shouldn’t last, or you’d miss out on a lot of great things. 

I’m not suggesting that you break up with your boyfriend (or girlfriend) on a whim. Or that you stop being friends with someone you’ve known since you were 3 because she blacked out after one too many shots of her father’s Don Julio. 

What I am suggesting is that you pay attention. If someone cheats on you, he probably doesn’t like you. If someone constantly talks down to you or competes with you, they probably aren’t a very good friend. 

Being critical isn’t the same as being cynical. But I find they both look good on me. 

Critically yours, 

The Wandering Aesthete